Kingdom of Demons

By Noir

Zero

In the year 1984.

Falling softly into a slumber in the shakily rocking crib, a baby sucked his thumb contently. He was fragile but didn't know it, didn't know anything beyond what was his to know. His sleep was peaceful and filled with happy images; his mother, warmth and pastel colours.

His mother. The slim form crouching beside the crib, looking somewhat troubled and a little more frightened. Her eyes scanned the baby, as if he wasn't supposed to be there. As if she was hoping for him to disappear, be kidnapped or merely erased from existence. Her eyes showed thoughts all other mothers, in her opinion, would spit on her face for thinking.

The baby's pouty lips and chubby cheeks were like any other baby's, yet still she saw a resemblance to his father. Or she was imagining it, but it's there nevertheless. Her eyes were suddenly filled with unshead tears and she forced herself to look away. Abruptly standing up, she turned away from the small bundle, only to find herself being watched as well.

"What are you doing here?" she breathed, and wasn't sure if he had heard her squeaky voice. Still not sure, her eyes followed him moving about in the room, picking up things and examining them. Then, holding a photoframe, he turned and smiled. The smile didn't quite reach his light green eyes. "Should I ignore this then?"

"No.. I suppose not." she said.

"I won't walk away. I haven't got it in me to leave him growing up without a father figure. Even if I'd very much like to spare myself of the nausea." His words wouldn't have made any sense to a stranger but she knew he meant her. She made him sick. He hated her.

But after everything, she still found herself loving him.

Were you too kind to me?
The reflection of a trauma from long ago.
I destroyed you, the last one.
Am I a sadist?

One

Tolerating loneliness had never been one of his strong points. It disturbed him and welled up memories he didn't remember and feelings he couldn't identify as his own. No, he didn't want to stay alone for the pure pain of it. It physically hurt to be left alone with his haunted thoughts.

Ram ran his fingers over the black keys of his laptop. He closed his eyes and shut out the silence of the nearly empty room he stood in. Well, technically he didn't stand, his wheels did. He had to rely on those wheels and a seat crafted just for him. Such a long time ago, he remembered, had he spilled his last tears. And those tears were caused because of the wheelchair. He had clutched the side of it and fought the crushing mental pain of being caged.

It was far worse than loneliness, in Ram's mind. It gnawed his pride, it chopped up his self-esteem and left him fragile, vulnrable and so weak he was disgusted to even think about it. After his last tears, he had changed. The salty tears he had watched stain his chair changed things. A great many things changed directions in his head. Ram had known he could be strong, despite his weakness. Despite all the forgotten memories that still mocked him. And he had rid himself from his loneliness.

Abandoning the keyboard with a sigh, Ram directed his chair towards the door and his eyes showing no emotion, exited.

Let's see a movie, holding hands like I promised you.
Saying farewell in this evening before
the apples and strawberries go rotten.
The dream stretches forth,
while we're kissing like I promised you.

"Ebony, Ebony. Good morning to you!" he exclaimed from afar and watcheed the small, young woman turn in surprise. She fixed a cheesy smile on her face, like a mask and trotted up to him.

"Ram." She said softly in his ear as she trailed her fingers up his neck. Ram hummed, pleased that she was there. That she was his. That she was such a good actress.

The minute he had seen Ebony for the first time, he had known how much potential she possessed within. He had watched her like he had never watched any woman. She was so different, so wrong; her superior curl of lips and an arrogant poise that made her seem somewhat larger. Ram liked her, liked her so much he was willing to forget the danger he put himself in for doing so. His mind warned him for letting such a woman near him, near his soul.

But he desperately craved it, craved her strong presence to shoo away the lurking loneliness. The feeling of despair that laughed in his face from the shadows. Yes, he needed her.

Ebony walked beside him towards the control room. She looked everyone who walked past boldly in the eye and made sure they all knew she wasn't just another wife. She was more than that. And Ram admitted, she was right. But in his mind it worked out all very differently. She wasn't merely an appendage of him, she was his safety net. Separate, but always there for him to count on.

Of course Ebony didn't see this, she thought she had the upper hand. She congratulated herself for wrapping the poor leader of the Technos around her finger. Ram smiled inwardly as he let her keep her precious image. Let her keep her pride and certain freedom. It was a special sort of an agreement, the marriage. Ram had made promises, and so had Ebony. Neither of them were all that whole-heartedly in it.

His beloved safety net, the extinguisher of Despair. Ebony grinned at Jay who was conveniently there to open the door for them to enter.

Two

In the year 1992.

A skinny boy of eight years crawled across the cold floor of his small bedroom. His knees were bruised from the crawling but not nearly as badly as his sides. His arms. His face. His legs. His soft, creamy skin was covered in nasty looking purple and grey bruises. He was marked, claimed. He wasn't his own anymore.

Through the glassy veil of tears, he saw the other person in his room retreat from the bed and open the door. A sudden wave of light caught the boys face and he raised a hand to cover his eyes. Squinting, he watched the man walk away. Leave him alone once more. Crouching on all fours, the boy hung his head and closed his eyes from the surrounding darkness.

A muffled cry was heard from outside. Talking, bitterness in tones and hurried steps. The steps didn't bring anyone to his rescue. No one lifted him from his painful loneliness.

--

He forced himself to walk away from the child's bedroom. The hall was lit with candles. His wife loves candles, she says they remind him of fireflies. He smiled bitterly at the mention of his wife. Lawful wedded wife whom he hates from the bottom of his existence.

"Did you put him to sleep?" asked a small, high-pitched voice from behind him. He stopped on his tracks and turned around, facing her and flashing her a dangerous expression of hate and amusement.

"Yes, what did you think I was doing there?" he lies fluently. It is not difficult to lie to her, looking her straight in the eye. She was small and pale, with traces of lost beauty still lingering on her features. The past nine years had drained her so completely, she hardly ever smiled. And when she did, it never reached other parts of her, except her pink lips. Now the said lips were in a tight line. She scowled, yet still looked very scared. Of him? He hoped.

"Why Pauline, you know I'd never do anything remotely hurtful to him. I love him." He spat out and knew his eyes betrayed him.

The woman, Pauline, stood still and said nothing. Her brown eyes were nearly black with fear and deep down she knew something had happened. Something that cannot be erased. It's all in his eyes. Yet, she stood and stared. She had chosen not to care, a long time ago she had chosen to run away.

He sighed and sneered. "I'm going to bed now. I'm simply exhausted!" The sentence was loaded with meaning and she saw every bit of it. She knew and shed one single tear out of duty and exhaustion before walking silently out of the house.

Little childs eyes followed her as she walked away. He expected her to be back within three hours, that long it took to take the bus to another suburban, give herself to a man he had heard his parents talking about and then taking the bus back home. Three hours went by but she didn't come. A year went by just as quickly. She never came.

Three

Hunching over his keyboard and snapping his fingers demandingly, Ram ushered everyone out of the room. His mind was spinning and bright, annoying colours kept flashing before his eyes. The opposite of the darkness he feared, yet it wasn't at all what he needed. It was stressful and too bouncy. Too cheerful. He needed to stay calm.

Reaching for his headset, Ram took a shaky breath and exhaled in a rush. Things were getting out of hand as he grew weaker in his mind. He wouldn't last longer, he couldn't. The burden was so large, even Ebonys presence didn't make it vanish. Not entirely, not anymore.

The last thing he heard before slipping into Virtual Reality, was the piercing cackle in the back of his mind he knew belonged to the madness taking over his insides.

In Virtual Reality

Ram walked a grassy path towards a big, blue house awaiting him behind a group of maple trees. He smiled despite himself and ripped a handful of leaves from a branch hanging above him. It was sadly beautiful. It was what he deserved, in his own opinion. He had created his dream childhood for him to escape to, as all of his own childhood memories had vanished along the way. From time to time he could still recall single events, even days, but nothing bigger. Nothing clearer. He never remembered feelings. It was merely a blur of strange faces or pieces of clothing, or objects. Just stuff, Ram thought a little sadly.

He walked up the three steps that brought him to a porch. There were flowerpots and gardening tools, a table with a spotless tablecloth on it, chairs. On one of them was a sky blue shawl that belonged to someone Ram probably didn't know. The shawl was in a bunch, crumpled as if someone had accidentally sat on it for a while. Ram picked it up and felt a faint smell of perfume he recognised. He frowned. He still didn't remember.

"That belonged to your mother, Ram." A voice said.

Ram started and dropped the shawl he had been fingering. Someone was there. Someone had entered his dream without premission. Angrily he turned around.

"What are you doing here?!" he snapped and without an effort created a menacing expression that hid all the confusion and bitterness that would've otherwise been laid bare, for everyone to see. But the person made his mask crumble. It wasn't a Techno. It wasn't even a Virt, it was a grown man who looked creepily familiar to Ram. The man sported a lopsided grin and had shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

"That is what they call you nowadays, isn't it?" he said.

Ram nodded numbly and sat down on the shawl he had picked up and thrown aside. The man walked closer and took a seat opposite to Ram. He let his curious eyes wander around the green and sunny yard, giving Ram the opportunity to gather his thoughts and recover from the shock.

Ram was confused and a little scared, even if he was too proud to admit it to himself.

"My name is James." The man said, his eyes still fixed on the lawn and the tall maple trees. It wasn't really an introduction and he didn't seem to expect Ram to answer politely. He had simply let him know, so that they were even.

Ram raked his eyes up and down this man and somewhere deep in his head, a voice was screaming. Shrieking so heartbreakingly, Ram had to clear his throat to break the silence. He hated when he was left alone with his head. When the silence surrounded him and the harsh voices in his head started ripping him apart.

The man, James, had turned to him as he coughed and looked expectant. Ram's genius mind made up a question immidiately. "You knew my Mother, did you?" he asked slowly. James smiled and nodded.

"Yes." he said then and looked as if he was about to go on, yet stopped there. Ram was getting annoyed and frustrated.

"Well how? Was this my house?" he snapped and gazed fiercly at the older man, who settled on just smiling. His constant smiling was annoying Ram. The longer he watched him smile, the louder the screaming got. Finally he couldn't stand it any longer and abruptly stood and started walking away. Hopping the steps quickly, he reached the swing in the middle of the lawn in a matter of seconds. He rather felt, than saw James staring at him. There was something very wrong with him being here. This was a dream, Ram thought as he kicked the dirt on the ground.

Why did it make him want to curl up and weep, like after a horrible childhood nightmare?

Four

The even thumps of Javas steps echoed outside her door, getting closer by every second. Ebony shook her hear disgustedly and braced herself for what was to come.

Ram had been distant and depressed recently, Java claims. The first thing she did about the matter, was accuse Ebony for ruining him.

"For some reason you're everything to him and you know it! And now your little game with Jay has finally gotten to him. You're just a little parasite that refuses to see itself for what it really is. Wake up, Ebony. You're not all that. You're just.. nothing. But you've done a great job convincing Ram you deserve him. And now you've ruined him. Sometimes I wish you'd just.."

"What? Vanish? Oh but I'm sorry Java. I won't. Just to make you feel unworthy, I'll stay."

She had held her chin up proudly and smiled her *****iest smile, but still she was afraid Java might see how her words had affected her. It would've been the end of it. End of everything if her sister had known she hit a nerv.

Now there was a loud fuss at the door as Java rid it of the guards. Useless fools, Ebony thought. Turning away from her moment with a lipgloss, she faced Javas indescribable eyes.

"Java." she said coldly.

"Ebony." There was a long pause during which neither of the women moved nor blinked. Java was the one to break it, making Ebony's stomach knot with her words.

"He's done it. Ram's gone."

24 hours ago

Ram felt his hands shake as he struggled to keep his cool posture. He felt the burden of being a leader, it was stronger than ever at the moment. His previous big plans were going to be realized. Everyone at the Hotel was buzzing and hopelessly busy with the strangest of tasks. Not all were even that aware of what they were doing, yet kept doing it, the best they could.

His eyes fell on the headset he had laid on a table two hours before. The memory of the strange house and the constructed-dream-gone-wrong prodded his mind, every nerv; and he was positively going mad at the force of it. Not one peaceful, calm minute.

Sneakily his thoughts kept returning to the man. James, as he called himself. It was all too strange and thus Ram didn't have the strength to tell him off, rid himself of his constant presence. And now.. It wouldn't have been possible, even had he decided to do so. Had he wanted for James to disappear just as quickly as he had appeared. The truth was, Ram didn't hate the man. He liked him, was intrigued by him, even attracted to him on some level.

James was a man in his mid-twenties. Possibly even 30. He was the sort of person one would look at twice when they walk past. Just to make sure he was there. Ram bitterly admitted he couldn't ever possess such charm. It was worrying how much his appearance affected him.

Usually clad in jeans and a T-shirt of some quality, James looked very young. But the lines around his green eyes betrayed the image. Still, the age difference didn't matter because James was James. He was everything he had needed. Even Ebonys strength and character couldn't pull him out of his madness like he could.

It was frightening.

It was wonderful.

Ram held the frown on his face but anyone could've seen the smile in his eyes, had they stepped closer. Had they really seen him.

With a swift movement, Ram had grabbed the headset and was on his way back. Why suffer a great deal of itching loneliness, when you have someone to be with? This was how Ram made sense of his actions. Normally, he would've laughed at anyone who was so weak. So addicted. He didn't laugh now. He didn't even smile. He craved, he needed. He was determined to have.

It was no surprise to find James sunbathing on the lawn as Ram practically ran up the path to get to the house. The house sparkled in its blueness and the maple trees looked very happy. Ram chuckled at this, trees couldn't look happy, still he saw that these trees definately did. They were smiling without faces.

"Good day Ram." James said quietly and didn't open his eyes.

His form is changing, far away but all too close.
Should I wear a mask?
So I can hide my face drawn with tension
when I'm with him.
My heart lost in my body, will someday leave me.

Five

Ram walked past him and for a short while the screams in his head got louder but then faded to the background. He could barely make them out anymore as he sat on the swing. He hadn't listened to silence for a long time. It was almost very new to him, hearing his own breathing, hearing anything. He had always tried to cease hearing. Tried to wish away all sound so he could sleep. Tried trying. Trying wasn't good enough.

He smiled and looked up at James who had stood up and was casting a shadow over him.

"Care to join me inside for a cup of.. whatever?" he asked, with an odd smile playing on his lips. Without thinking, Ram nodded. He hadn't been thinking much of late. It was all revolving around him, he didn't matter to himself anymore. He had lost his selfishness that protected him. He stood up and found himself standing very close to James. A sharp scream, so high-pitched and painful it made him cringe, shot through him. Not just his head, but his whole body. His soul.

James ignored the obvious pain Ram was in and turned to walk inside. He sported a devious smile on his face and a glint full of hatred in his eyes.

When Ram entered the kitchen, it was empty. On the table he saw two cup, filled with steaming brown tea. It smelled of grass and nature, in Ram's opinion. He didn't drink tea. He didn't drink much of anything except filtered water. It was all very filthy, to the core. To the very essence, filthy.

Suddenly two large and strong hands grabbed his waist from behind and before he knew it, he was slammed to the wall so that his nose started bleeding from the impact. It hurt, but not very much. Afterall, Ram was used to much worse pain.

It wasn't the physical pain, but the mental shock. It was James crushing him to the wall, making his ribs ache and cheek go numb.

"So, little boy. You couldn't keep away." he hissed is Ram's ear. There wasn't a trace of the friendliness or sunshine from earlier. His voice was harsh and his breath came in hot waves on Ram's neck. He gasped as teeth bit into his flesh and small crimson pearls dripped from the gash. Yet, he didn't resist.

The desperate screams came back with a vengeance and he nearly blacked out from the volume of it. Ram found himself listening before he could remember not to.

"Mother! Mother! Father! Pain! Pain! Rape!"

It made very little sense to him at that point and after a short while he couldn't even remember there were any voices. He reasoned James' attack to be what he wanted. What he had needed deep down. He didn't dare question his motives. He was too tired to fight another battle, too drained to feel.

Then, just as he found his pants being dropped and James grunting raspily in his ear, he heard. And felt.

The voices didn't only bring words, they brought very violent emotions. Mother! He saw his mother singing him a lullaby with a shaking voice and fearful eyes. Father! He felt a callused hand holding his thigh in place as the owner of said hand pounded into him with painful force. Pain! Pain! His vision was filled with images of blood flowing from him to the floor, bruises covering his body, his hair being ripped out.. Rape. His thoughts swooshed back to present accompanied with a shriek so loud, he was forced to join in it.

Ram felt James start as he suddenly screamed. His movements ceased but still he didn't let go.

"What did I ever tell you about screaming, boy?" he hissed in Rams ear, yanking his hair painfully. It was familiar. It brought back memories Ram had previously ignored, thinking they were just some cruel nightmares caused by stress. Or something else.
They were his, hid inside his head when he was still a young boy. When he was still weak and accepted everything.

James had seemed familiar to him because he did know him. James was his father. And as if he could read Rams mind, he laughed coldly. "Your father. Your mothers husband. A participant in a false family." He was panting and after positioning himself, thrust into Ram.

He saw his vision go blurry from tears. They prickled down his cheek and nose, very silently. Sneaky tears, they were supposed to be forgotten forever. He had promised to never cry again. He had fallen, fallen so hard and fast he felt confused and nauseous.

"Your mother was a whore. You aren't even mine, not really. Did she ever tell you? I suppose she didn't. She was scared and that's how I liked her kept. Afraid and alone." James pushed in and out of the boy between him and the wall in a steady rhythm.

"I promised to myself, I'd get my revenge someday. I'd contaminate all she had, like she did to me. She betrayed me. And I poisoned you in return." His rhythm fastened and became even more painful, like a knife slashing Rams insides.

"But it didn't work as she didn't care! She spoiled it for me! I hated her for doing so. And I hated you for being there, for me to look after." he growled and ripped out a tuft of dark hair from Rams head. He gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. He imagined himself being back in reality. He imagined himself taking off the headset and with a yell, throwing it out of the open window. He imagined everything that wasn't possible.

"And I still live in your head. I hated you so much, I hurt you every way possible. I tattooed myself into your soul. And that is why I am here. Because I'm in you. And you can't escape." Then, he slammed into Ram for the last time, coming inside him, branding him. Like he did before. He had made sure Ram didn't belong to himself anymore because he shouldn't even exist. He considered Ram an unwanted present and wanted to hack him into pieces just so he could hurt the giver.

Ram slumped to the floor and lay there very still. His body was suffering from bleeding wounds and throbbing pain, but he didn't care. It all made sense to him now and he was glad.

He was relieved even though he knew he couldn't live with the knowledge.

Ram fell into a peaceful slumber, just like when he was no more than six months old. Pink and blue swirls, a warm tingle and a reassuring presence.

Sadistic sadistic.
Sadistical, Horror.
Here comes my Sadistic Stimulation.
Come one and all to see!
Sadistic sadistic.

Synchro Prepared Retro Horror.

Zero

Ebony sat on a chair, in a position would've been uncomfortable after minutes, let alone hours. It was already dark and the last traces of day were hiding, people turning in and people quieting. The day was no more, but Ebony couldn't sleep. She feared her dreams would turn in on her, would she close her eyes to rest.

How could she rest? She had failed Ram. He had believed in her ability to save him, and she had failed. Never before had her failure affected everyone, including herself, so severely.

She'd been Rams number one wife, his protector in a way. Ebony could see he was haunted, the way he looked when he was alone. The lengths he'd go to avoid being alone. She had accepted his invite of being his protector, knowing what it meant. For her and for him.

And she had failed.

In the guilty silence, the pressuring and accusing darkness, Ebony cried.

--

Explanation One: Ram has gone mad, stayed in Virtual Reality. Java meant he was locked there.
Explanation Two: James excisted because Ram programmed him subconsciously. He was there because he had indeed marked Ram as a child.
Explanation Three: The wheelchair was a product of domestic violence and the time Ram cried over it, was already after the Virus.
Explanation Four: THIS is what happens when Laura has an overdose of Dir en Grey. ^_~